Sometimes, I feel like this.
Kind of scattered and spread pretty thin
I got to church this morning, and since my two littlest boys were home with
colds, I had time to look at that feeling, and to evaluate it.
Within a few minutes, I decided that sometimes, I also feel like this
On the verge of being swallowed by a very large wave. Trying desperately to
keep my footing, and failing.
As I evaluated these feelings of turmoil, I first did as I always do.
I justified these feelings by looking at the crazy life I lead. The crazy life
I have chosen.
I probably could have added in a picture of a juggler. I feel like that too. A lot.
Numerous items swirl in my brain. Appointments that need to be made, meetings
that need to be attended, dates that need to be remembered, laundry that still needs to be folded, school shopping that needs to be done, a yard that desperately needs the help of an entire landscaping company.
And suddenly, I had a moment of clarity in the stormy ocean of thoughts
A thought about an ocean
about a storm
about a swirling sea
And again, I knew
what I have been taught again and again
In a stormy sea, there is only
ONE
who can command the wind and the waves
only ONE
who can calm the sea
only ONE
who can help me when I feel so scattered, so incapable
As I paged through my Bible, re-reading references to the incident when Christ did calm the seas, I came upon another reference.
Where Christ asks for Peter's faith
in a stormy sea
And wondered to myself
with all the worrying, with all the chruning thoughts
how do I compare to Peter?
22 ¶ And straightway Jesus constrained his disciples to get into a ship, and to go before him unto the other side, while he sent the multitudes away.
23 And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to apray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone.
24 But the ship was now in the midst of the sea, tossed with waves: for the wind was contrary.
25 And ain the fourth watch of the night Jesus went unto them, walking on the sea.
26 And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, It is a spirit; and they cried out for fear.
27 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good acheer; it is I; be not afraid.
28 And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water.
29 And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was aafraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me.
31 And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little afaith, wherefore didst thou bdoubt?
32 And when they were come into the ship, the wind ceased.
33 Then they that were in the ship came and worshipped him, saying, Of a truth thou art the Son of God.
And it came to me, the words of Christ, in the Bible.
O thou of little afaith, wherefore didst thou doubt
Knowing that He can bring Peace, that He can work miracles
I will begin to ask for mercy in my life
that mine can become one of peace
that I can be a part of a miracle
that He will help calm my stormy seas.
3 comments:
Andra,
I have the picture of Christ calming the seas above the piano at home. (The kids used to call it "Jesus leading the singing".) Anyway, I have it hanging in that prominent spot because it reminds me not only of the Savior's willingness to "calm our stormy seas", but also of the reason that he was in the boat in the first place - to get away from the masses of people clamboring for his attention so he could have a rest and renew his strength so he could continue to teach them. It reminds me that at times I need to get away from the stresses and demands of life, no matter how pressing and necessary, in order to renew my strength so I can continue to serve. If even Christ, with the short time he had to complete his mission on the earth, needed some time alone and away, how much more do we, as weak mortals, need to do the same. As busy as you are with your little family, and as dependent as they are upon you, remember that you need to renew yourself from time to time so you can continue to "be there" for them. I love you dearly and am so amazed at what a wonderful mother you are!
Ramona,
That is an additional insight that I really needed. I really tend to struggle with the guilt of taking time out for me. SO - because of you, I WILL be attending 2 full days of education week this year. Thank you!
That is one of my favorite passages of scripture. I think it is so significant that when Peter cried out for the Lord's help He did immediately stretch out his hand to help him despite his wavering faith. The promise that He will do that for us during the trials of our faith is so comforting and gives me the courage to wade through the muddy waters of life, knowing that I'll be stronger because of it. Thanks for reminding me of that. I really needed it!
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