Never. Ever. Ever.

Never, ever, ever. Absolutely not.

 Those are the words I have used, when talking about letting a child sleep in our bed. I have laughed in the face of parents who have unwittingly set themselves up for a lifetime of sleep deprivation by allowing kicking, squirrely toddlers into their bed at night. Admittedly, I have snuggled with a newborn, and with a nursing baby – in hopes of sneaking in a few minutes of sleep here and there. Yet, in all these years of raising children, we have NEVER had a toddler in our bed.

Until now. I guess this is my punishment for being so adamant. My just due. My payment for being such a militant sleep Nazi. At this point, I am more humble. Perhaps I am even teachable. I definitely feel as if I do not know it all. Because this morning, Evan slept in our bed.


I am not sure what caused the sleep problem. From the day he was born, he has been my best sleeper. He was just the blessing we needed as we worked to remodel our entire home, from the inside out. We packed, painted, carpeted, painted some more, packed even more, made children sleep on mats on the floor. All in an effort to get ready to sell our house, while in the process of building our new one. And through all of this stress, he slept.

Upon moving to the new house, he continued to be a wonderful sleeper. I picked up a part time job that I could do from home, knowing that I could depend on him having a two to three hour nap every day without fail. He would fall into a blissful slumber, and I would go to work, answering sales calls with no worry as to what I would do if he woke early.

And then two weeks ago, I took a much need vacation. I went to education week at BYU with my sister, a friend, and a niece. For me, those two days gave me a new rejuvenation – a new determination to go forward with faith, to depend more on the Savior instead of myself, to find a time for reverent contemplation. It was wonderful.


For Evan, it was two day spent with his siblings. Two days spent with some rather loud thunderstorms. From that point on, Evan has not slept well. And that is an understatement. He wakes in the middle of the night screaming about the thunder. Even when there is none. Leigh Ann, the other mother upstairs (age 13) would try to put him back to bed, but eventually, he would drag his blanket and pillow and bunk down on her bedroom floor.


Since that time, we have tried everything we can think of. Letting him sleep on her floor (alarm wakes him up way to early), Letting them sleep together so he won’t be afraid (still gets out of bed at 5:30 with her), putting him back into the crib (who knew he could crawl out soooooo fast!), and finally, making him a little bed on our bedroom floor – from which point, I can easily comfort him if he has a hard time.


This morning, however, with the holiday, we broke THE RULE and let him get into our bed at about 6 am. The problem is, it was wonderful!!! What a snuggly little guy. So content to put his arm around me and keep on sleeping. I have never had this experience before. By the time my other children were two years old, they had a new sibling who demanded mom’s full attention. This is the first time I have had a child of almost three who has me to himself.  I am pretty sure I could get used to this!


I am hoping that this sleep disturbance will iron itself out as he realizes Mom is not leaving again.  That he will not be on my floor, or in my bed forever.  But I think I will savor the moment and snuggle with him while I still can.  Savor an experience that I have not had before.  And hope that one day, when he feels secure enough, he will return to his own bed - and that I won't be too lonely then.