The most wonderful gift

     Quiet, Tranquility, and Peace swirl about in my head.  I can hear each thought as it enters my mind, undistracted.  Such an unusual time.  8 children at the store with Bob.  Me – alone.  I feel as if I have been given a gift.  A shiny wrapped package with an exquisite bow.  Quiet.  Peace.  Such a tremendous difference from my everyday life.  Before he took them to the store, there were 8 children in the kitchen with me.  All seeming to be speaking about a different subject, each knowing that I was intently listening only to them, and not to the others. 

     And then swooped in the unexpected super hero – home from a long day’s work.   With a twinkle in his eye, he asked if I would like it if he took them all to the store with him.  My jaw dropped.  In 17 years of parenting, I can count on one hand how many times he has volunteered.  A gift.  A bright shiny package with exquisite pleasure inside.   Quiet.  

       And then I remember.  How I longed for, begged for, desired, and wanted so desperately these children.  How I used to watch the mothers around me with their babies in their arms, with their clambering toddlers on their knees and want so badly to have some of my own.  I remember the feeling of boredom, of loneliness, of too much quiet.  I remember tears shed as I imagined how wonderful it would be to have my children.  To teach and nurture them.  Imagining them as the best gift ever.  The most beautiful package, tied with the biggest bow ever.  Untold secrets inside.  Excitement, anticipation, pleasure.  Soft dimpled hands and sweet smelling downy hair.  Giggles, smiles and first words.  How I longed for that pleasure, for that gift.

      And now I wonder – how much quiet, how much  peace would it take  before I long for these children.  Before I remember with fondness the exquisite joy in the noise, in the chaos.   How many hours would it take before I would wish to have them back again, running, talking, laughing.    Those who have gone before me, and who have already raised their children assure me that it will all be over much too quickly.  So for now, I will try to remember the gifts.  Firstly, the gift of a wonderful husband who gave me the gift of peace and quiet, but mostly, for the gifts of my children.  My noisy, excited, boisterous, wonderful children.