Happily Ever After

 

       My mother used to tell stories of being the 2nd oldest of seven children. 

Her mother was often ill, only feeling truly well when she was expecting another baby. 

As one of the oldest children, she helped to carry the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning

And said that often, she would pretend that she was Cinderella. 

She had such a good attitude, and I think it was her imagination that allowed her to do her work and truly enjoy the time spent serving her family. 

This week, I was able to visit what is left of my mother’s childhood home.  Apparently, the original part of the home was over 100 years old.  The part that remains today is the addition, the part that did not burn down, from what I understand. 

It is not large, it is not beautiful, but to me it is incredible.  As we walked toward it, I had the feeling that this must have been what Sleeping Beauty’s cottage looked like while she waited for Prince Charming. 

 

 

Surrounded by Rhododendron trees growing flowers in the first week of March

that were as big as my entire hand!

 

 

 

 

 

Hard to resist a beautiful Fairyland of leaves and flowers

and in my heart

I know my mother grew up feeling the same about the

beauty around her. 

 

Sleeping Beauty’s castle would have also been surrounded by brambles, by thorns…….

 

And I cannot help but wonder if these twisty vines hung around the old home when she lived there.  They are so unique, so wild in their beauty. 

And though the house itself was small, old, and used to store odds and ends……

I was so happy to be able to visit the place where my mother grew up

So happy to have a mental picture to put with the stories she told

of when she was young.

So grateful she shared stories with us, shared her life with us, helped us to become the people we are today.

She may have been Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty

only in her mind…..

but to us, to her children -

She is a fairy tale hero

Brave, Happy, Beautiful.

 

I am so grateful. 

To the girl who used to practice at being a Princess

though she had only two dresses to her name

 

To the girl who was kind to everyone around her

though she had little else to give

 

To the girl who took a chance and listened to the message

of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ

 

To the girl who was willing to leave home and family

travel across the country

looking for Prince Charming

 

So that one day

They could live……

 

Happily Ever After

Cutest airport award!!!

 

I am not a world traveler, however, living across the country from my family for many years has given me the opportunity to visit several airports. 

By some twist of fate, I have found the cutest airport I have ever seen.  When I told my family I had flown into Augusta, GA – they looked at me as if I was crazy (which is a debate for another day).  Apparently nobody KNEW there was an airport in Augusta!!! 

 

Only 6 departure gates.  Mere steps from security (which gives a very nice fanny massage on occasion), to the boarding gate. 

It was so easy, so unhurried, so beautiful…..  In essence it was very “southern”!!!

 

And if the front was not cute enough, the inside is adorable! 

When did you last see cute wallpaper in a public restroom????

Finally, just when you think it cannot get any better, there is a little balcony, INSIDE of security, where you can go to dream about your next game of golf.  I’m sure for some, this must be heaven. 

 

Hand on the Rod

 

 

There is a scripture that has always fascinated me.  It is found in the Book of Mormon, and speaks about how Satan tries so quietly to win us, to trick us, so that all us will be as miserable as he is. 

 

The scripture is found in 2 Nephi 26:22 – and says …..For he is the founder of all things; yeah, the founder of murder and works of darkness;  yea; and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever. 

 

I am not sure why this one has rolled around in my mind lately, as I have come across it again in my reading.  But it seems to roll around – and is coupled with another scripture found in 1 Nephi 11:25  - … that the iron rod, which my father had seen, was the word of God, which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life…. or the love of God. 

 

As I have pondered these two scriptures, an idea began to form – it is not written in any type of proper form – just as it hit my brain, then my hand, then my pen as it became a real stream of thought. 

 

Hand On the Rod

 

Hand on the rod

we are told

from the time we are small

 

Hand on the rod

we are told

as we enter the waters of baptism

 

Hand on the rod

we promise

as we grow and begin to understand

 

But sometimes with

our hand on the rod

our eyes begin to wander

 

And they see

a large and spacious building

excitement, friends, entertainment beckoning. 

 

Sometimes, as our eyes strain to see

with one hand

on the rod

our mind begins to wonder

 

How can I let go

of the rod

if only for a minute

 

Sometimes, we long to go and see

to experience, yet we know

we should keep

one hand on the rod. 

 

But How

 

How to show obedience and keep

one hand on the rod

and still wander

just to see

 

Then from a pocket comes a silken strand

a flaxen cord

and with it

a glimmer of an idea

 

Perhaps – maybe – if only

 

we fashion that silky cord to the rod

give a little pull

to test the strength

and smile

 

Because it is

 almost as good

as having

one hand on the rod

 

With the newfound tether

we can step away

and take a peek

ever knowing

we still have a hold

on the rod

 

Excitement, friends, experiences

just to watch

just to see

 

A peek into the world

still tied by the flaxen cord

to the rod. 

 

Further and further

still secure in the knowledge

that perhaps, even if your hand

is not

on the rod

 

that flaxen cord is stronger than  it appears

It should keep you safe, as you

walk further

from the rod

 

What happens when

the unexpected happens

the winds pick up

and the dust blows

life suddenly gets stormy

sending all in its path

swirling

 

and in sudden silence

we find that the flaxen cord

which we thought

had come from our own pocket

 

Is instead a flaxen cord

attached to a shackle

on the neck

that with the wind, with the storm

 

Has become a web, a binding

of strong cord

attached not to the iron rod

but instead, is held

by the father of darkness

 

that he may call you his. 

 

 

 

My new favorite ugly shirt

Admittedly, I stole it. 
  

AND

It is sort of ugly 

I was not even smart enough to steal a new one,

or even one that matched my skin tone,

BUT 

I love it.  Three months now I have had my  Ugly Brown Shirt, and I love it. 

Don't be afraid for me - the guy I stole it off of was not using it anymore.  He'll never even miss it.  

And really?  If I can't find it, there are several others around here I can swipe.  Not as easily, but now that I have fallen in love with 

The Ugly Brown Shirt

I have to wear it.  No matter that it has spots of glue from left over patches.  No matter that it is 4 sizes too big.  

I may never give it back.
 

My Ugly Brown Shirt

My new Ugly Brown Shirt is, in fact Robby's Scout shirt.  He has achieved the rank of Eagle Scout, and flown from our home nest, leaving his shirt behind.  

I received the opportunity three months ago to become a "wolf den assistant" which is a cub scout leader working with the 8 year olds.  I was happy for this opportunity, because it allows me to be with one of my children.  We go together, work together, learn together.  Perhaps I will get to be a Wolf den assistant long enough for my last three boys to go through cubs.  

A girl can dream, can't she?  

Yet with all the excitement of being in cub scouts with my son, I was hesitant each week I donned The Shirt.  It was too big (I did NOT want to purchase a new one for almost $50, thank you very much), the color was sort of brown/olive/ewwww, and I sort of felt as if it made me feel like a wannabe - a die hard scouter - something I had never planned to be.  

Then one day, as we were starting our den meeting, I stood with my group of 8 year old boys, raised my arm and began to say the Cub Scout Promise, I heard a distant voice echo in my head.  The voice had a beautiful slight southern accent.  The voice said "I Cindy Watson, promise to do my best to do my duty to God and my Country, to help other people, and to obey the law of the pack."

It was the voice of my mother.  A voice that I have not heard in 14 years now.  A voice that I miss tremendously.  And in that moment, I fell in love with The Ugly Brown Shirt.  

I have no tangible memories of my mother being a cub scout leader.  As the mother of 6 boys, it is no surprise that she was one - I was just never a scout, I have had no reason to remember her leading the  small meetings.  

I must have been there, as she repeated that promise with her group of scouts.  I must have been an observer on the sidelines once or twice.  Because I can her her voice in my mind, each time I raise my arm and say to my group of 8 year old scouts, "I, Andra Stowe, promise to do my best............

A Forever Valentine

Valentines Day always reminds me of high school.  

After 22 years -  

Valentines Day STILL reminds me of high school.  In my mind, it looks something like this:  

 This

is a vase of roses, from Carolina Roses

Except that in high school, I never got one of these for Valentine's day.  Not that I didn't date.  I did.  Not that I didn't date exclusively.  I did.  One of the boys I dated had his mother pick up flowers for me (as most boys did in our area).  This is what she left at the office for me:

     Having waited and dreamed for what felt like eons for a "relationship" at the right time of year to qualify for being cool enough to get ROSES at school - this was a little embarrassing.   I did not get mine in a vase, just wrapped in newspaper.  Must have been a glitch in son/mother communication.  Or his mother hated me?  

In reality, this post is not about the flowers themselves.  

It is about the heart of a teenager girl.

Who wanted so very badly

to be special enough

to get flowers

on 

Valentine's Day.

Who dreamed of walking away from the office

with a beautiful vase 

that would make her grin from ear to ear

and know

all would be as in the fairy tales.

Flowers on Valentine's Day = Happily Ever After

And Now - 22 years removed from High School.......  21 years into marriage with a wonderful man.  Eight children into parenting.  One child into his own apartment.....  

I sat this morning, pondering my own valentine's day experience, and I had an epiphany.  Possibly one that should have hit me years earlier.  

I think the fact that I now have a 15 year old daughter and a 13 year old daughter helped to direct my thoughts.  I thought of them at school, thought of the girls who are "in relationships" who would be rewarded today with flowers, stuffed animals, candy, or balloons - simply because they are currently "with someone".  

What an awful thought!  Bob and I have spent all of our years of parenting, since our children were old enough to have their own first crushes - discouraging premature pairing off.  

I heard it said once that going steady and breaking up in jr. high  and high school are practicing divorce.  We believe it is a fundamentally important time in their lives when they should have MANY friends of the opposite gender.  Where they should be able to learn how to be comfortable around boys/girls.  Where they do not practice pairing up - when there is absolutely nothing positive to be gained by fueling the hormones and the thoughts of "sparkly love".

Plenty would not agree with me.  And that is ok with me.  That is the awesome thing about parenting - each parent can do what they feel is best for THEIR children.  And in our discussions, Bob and I feel it is important to encourage our children to wait until they are mature enough to handle the roller coaster of tumultuous feelings, as well as choose a spouse when they feel right about it.  

With our boys - who are both past the age of 16, we have encouraged dating in groups, having lots of good, clean, creative fun, learning about personality types, styles of conversation, family influences.  Hopefully when it comes time for then to choose a spouse, they will not act ONLY on hormones, but also be able to choose wisely - a spouse with qualities that will make them happy forever.  

With our girls we will encourage the same thing.  Group dating.  Lots of fun, clean activities, being comfortable with the opposite gender, and hopefully a thoughtful choice about a spouse when they are ready.  

But today - I was saddened at the thought of my "unattached" girls

feeling left out at school.  

So I bought one of these:

And one of THESE:

     And took them to school so that my girls will not feel as if they need to be "dating folk" so that they will feel special on Valentine's  Day

So that my girls will know:  

Happily Ever After

can be every single day

Every day that you do something special for someone else

every day you are loved

Every day you are part of a family.

 ONE DAY they will grow up and choose

wisely - 

A Forever Valentine

who will give them so much more than 

newspaper wrapped roses

or even roses in a vase.

Because my Forever Valentine

has given me 21 years

8 children

and more happily ever after

than I could have possibly imagined.  

 

 

 

A few of my favorite pictures!

The best thing about cleaning out the cabinet that has been yelling for my attention for months now?  Finding the pictures that I have been missing since we moved 4 years ago!!!!

Perhaps if I put them HERE, they will not be displaced again so easily!!!

Justin and his look-alike cousin (Carter)

Savannah and her look-alike cousin (Elaina)

3 of us girl siblings, and two of our sisters in law had babies in a 6 month period.  

So glad we thought to document the cousin growth before two of them 
moved away (and one moved back a few years later!)